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Boss, Not a Leader

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I was recently promoted. 37 notifications on Slack (a messaging app). All with the same message, “Congratulations!” except for one, my boss. He said, “Congratulations Khavi! …now you can share the news with your family and friends.” I replied with a thanks followed by a smiley. Rest of the day, work, colleagues, and lunch with them, all of it was same as the day before. Nothing felt different. It was the first promotion of my life, why did it feel so empty? Was it because I was promised but denied the promotion last year since office policy had suddenly changed? Or, was it because a dozen other colleagues were also promoted with me? Days went by and I found two things that had changed in my life. The first was the number of expectations my boss had in terms of work delivered. And the second was a little raise in salary. But neither of them helped me figure out why the promotion itself felt empty. There was an interesting policy to evaluate performance of employees every 6 months. I had...
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The Abuse of Experience

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You left another relationship. Things didn't work out, so you took a stand and said, "I will not be a part of your journey anymore." It felt mature. Wise. You were the one who tried. They were the one who couldn't see it. So you moved on, feeling righteous, justified, and ready for the next person. But here's the thing: This isn't the first time. The last person didn't work out either. Or the one before that. In your mind, you're the constant. The one with standards. The one who knows what love should be. And they, all of them, failed to meet it. You're the victim of their inability to love you right. You have experience now. You've learned what doesn't work. So you carry that experience into the next relationship, already knowing the ending. But before we move on, sit with this: Do you actually know them? What was their favorite color? Food? Movie? What made them laugh when they thought no one was watching? If you can't answer these...
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The First Cry

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Balloons, cake, candles… Celebration. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to dear …” How many times have we sung and heard this melody? Quite a lot, I guess. It’s a joyous feeling. You were born. Others are celebrating this day for you. You must be happy. Are you? If not, then what is this “happy” in the “happy birthday” song? Let’s go to the very beginning to find the answer. A newborn, a new family member. Hours or even days before the arrival of this joyous day, your mother was in pain. With the joyous day coming closer and closer, her pain increased. Was she “happy” in those moments? You can imagine. Anyways, you were there, finally out of her womb and in her hands. May be, this was a “happy” moment for her. Now there’s a new being in existence. Full of ignorance. Crying. But it was your birth day, a “happy” birth day. Why were you crying? For the first few years, you kept crying. But then your mother taught you how to sit, eat, and talk, in addition to ma...
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