The First Cry

Balloons, cake, candles… Celebration.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to dear …”

How many times have we sung and heard this melody? Quite a lot, I guess. It’s a joyous feeling. You were born. Others are celebrating this day for you. You must be happy. Are you?

If not, then what is this “happy” in the “happy birthday” song?

Let’s go to the very beginning to find the answer.

A newborn, a new family member. Hours or even days before the arrival of this joyous day, your mother was in pain. With the joyous day coming closer and closer, her pain increased. Was she “happy” in those moments? You can imagine.

Anyways, you were there, finally out of her womb and in her hands. May be, this was a “happy” moment for her. Now there’s a new being in existence. Full of ignorance. Crying. But it was your birth day, a “happy” birth day. Why were you crying?

For the first few years, you kept crying. But then your mother taught you how to sit, eat, and talk, in addition to many other things. The crying finally stopped.

It was time to go to school. You cried again.

Losing old set of teeth and growing new ones. You cried again.

Losing that toy. You cried again.

Not meeting your parents’ expectations in school, you were scolded. You cried again.

And then you hit puberty!

First forward a few more years. Out of school, out of college, finally free. But let’s not talk about the pain from all the heartbreaks, illnesses and struggles to fit in while still competing with others. After all, you have successfully celebrated 22 “happy” birthdays.

Oh, you made friends along the way! Probably, collected some plastic medals, trophies, and certificates. Congratulations! Life is great, it seems … Yeah, just wait until you turn thirty! It’s only 8 “happy” birthdays away. Because then, the life turns super awesome. You have more freedom. As a total adult, you are free to choose.

So, what would you choose?

Let me guess!

A beautiful life partner, more money, more respect and recognition, and if you are ambitious, unlike me, there’d be a desire to leave a mark on this world and create something new.

It’s a plan for a great life. A life full of success and happiness, given you don’t fuck up your own mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual health along the way. You need to hold up on all four fronts at all times, otherwise you’d be sitting alone, crying. Again.

Another first cry!

Remember the beautiful life partner. They could be the reason for your mental and emotional troubles. Or not. Regardless, the two of you have a child. And she keeps crying. You are in the same position as your mother was when you were born. And you can’t prevent your child from crying no matter how much you love her. Because if you could, your mother could have done the same for you. And if she did, you wouldn’t be reading this.

In the end, death comes to take you, to set you free from all these sufferings, to make you stop crying. But you don’t want to leave. I wonder why! Did your struggles add some meaning to your life? Or the life itself meant something to you? Something you did not want to give up. Only you know that!

But your child still cries. She is mourning the loss of her parent, the loss of you.

The one last year was the last “happy” birthday.

I wonder if there was any first!

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And for this very reason, I write.

I write to bring clarity to myself and to others, so that we can tell right from wrong.

This was my first article. Hope you gained some clarity!

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Thanks,

Khavi Darpan.