Here's why "Fear of Attachment" is NOT a Real Thing

It’s amazing how people invent so many expressions to describe things they might not fully understand. One such invention is fear. The one I want to talk about is ‘fear of attachment’. In this article, I will show you how it is a fake idea, that the ‘fear of attachment’ is just not real.

We always try to obtain what we find pleasing, be it a pair of new shoes or some new person. We think about them day and night. It feels good. And with time, we find ourselves in a position where that thing or person is the only thing occupying our minds all the time. We call it love. When this liking or love grows too much, it is called ‘attachment’.

In short, ‘attachment’ is a pleasant feeling. It results from a pleasant feeling.

So, how can you fear something pleasant?

It’s logical to fear something unpleasant, but not something that feels good. This line of reasoning alone proves that the ‘fear of attachment’ is itself a meaningless expression.

But now a question arises, “why do we find people talking about it as if it’s something true?”

The answer is simple. People misunderstand a lot while the correct understanding comes from deep contemplations, which I am an expert on, by the way. Let me show you how.

That pleasant feeling of liking/love causes you to obtain the object/person in question. Once they do become a part of your life, your mind creates these thoughts:

“What if I lose them? No, that can’t happen. I don’t want that to happen.”

“What if something bad happens? I won’t be able to live without. I should take proper measures starting today so that nothing bad happens!”

Now your major thought of the day is not love and not even the pleasant ‘attachment’, but horrible scenarios of separation from your subject of love. This feeling of ‘not wanting to lose’ is a fear. It is a ‘fear of loss.’

Now, it’s pretty easy to see that the idea of ‘loss’ is unpleasant. Hence, it is logical for a ‘fear of loss’ to be an actual fear. However, the ‘fear of attachment’ cannot be an actual fear because ‘attachment’ itself is pleasant, so one cannot really be afraid of it.

Today, you need to understand this truth.

You don’t have a ‘fear of attachment’ … because you can’t have a ‘fear of attachment’, as there is just no such thing.

You have a ‘fear of loss’ … which is curable.

And here’s the simple cure:

“You came into this world empty-handed, and you’ll leave the same way. So, why obsess over what you found and lost in the middle of this journey? What (or who) you loved just happened to enter your life and leave it after some time. Even if something better comes into your life at a later point in time, it might leave as well. This is a proof of the temporary nature of our existence. So, there’s no need to avoid new beginnings and there is also no need to fear another ending. You were born to experience, learn, and enjoy.”

Hope you gained some clarity!

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Thanks for understanding,

from Khavi Darpan.